Valentines day!

Happy Valentines day everyone!
May you have a day filled with love and laughter!
And for those that are alone in this day, may you find love and happiness too, because everyone deserves to have it in their life's.
My sweetest man, I am so happy that this is our sixth valentine day together. I love you so much and I can't wait to spend many more with you!

A little unsure!

I have had my ups and downs, but lately I feel that I been more down. I have been struggling with myself. I want to share what's going on, but at the same time I feel I will be a burden to those I share my feelings with. Granted I also feel that, they will be disappointed with me and how my feelings are going to reflect with who they think I am. I know that's insane, and that I shouldn't care. I also know that there is a better outcome and all I have to do is look for it. But at this time I really don't want to look, all I really want is some peace of mind. Not this constant need to pretend that all is alright, that live is all good. That there is nothing in this world that I should be worried about. I guess is that I would love to just have things be and have all the answers.
In Christian views, I am told to pray and ask God. Truth be told I am tired of that. I feel I have spent most of my life praying and asking. Just not sure I have gotten an answer to most of my prayers. Yes, some of them seem to have been answered, but the minute I think things are going to be ok... Everything seems to fall apart. I feel I take two step forward and than six backward.
Or I am told that God has a plan for me, that I need to keep my ears and eyes open. That there is an answer to everything he does. What I want to know is what is his purpose for me? I am not complaining about my life, because I know there are other people in this world that have worse than me. All I ever wanted was a break in my life, that I don't have to keep fighting for everything and everyone. I just wanted to be able to reach my goals without having to fight for everything I want.
Of course I don't want things to be handed to me in a silver platter. I also understand that things I want in life, I need to work for it. All I am saying is that I would like for things not to be so hard. That I could have just some of the things not be so hard to achieve.
I do love everything in my life, all I really want is to be able to enjoy it, without the fear that something is going to go wrong. I guess all I have to do now... is hope that tomorrow will be a better day.

The Lucky One

Have been reading The Lucky One by Nicholas Sparks. An amazing story, granted all the books Nicholas Sparks are amazing. I love how throughout all the story, Logan manages to surpass his troubles and find peace with all the things that happened with him during his 5 years in the marines. He searches for this woman in a photo. That his best friend believes it to be a lucky talisman of some kind and tells Logan that his destiny is not done and he must find her and figure out what is he needs to do. What he didn't expect was to fall in love with her. I would love to say that my story is just as amazing, but truth be told what makes me feel connected to this story is that I find myself lucky to have someone like Logan in my life. No he is not a marine, but he is there for me and no matter what he is always going to be there for me. We found each other, at a time that neither one of us was looking for anything particular, at least that's I how see it. Everything from the begging was instant and we both knew that no matter what, we were meant to be together. Life has tested us in many ways and we have had though times. Although in the end we emerged from all of it stronger in our love and I truly feel lucky to have been found by this amazing man. I love him with all my heart and I know I will love him more so as the years pass.

Ana Katerina

Omg! I have made it a goal to read a Russian author every year. Today I have finished reading Ana Katerina which was my book for 2011. It was an interesting book and I have to say that I am finally glad I am done. Took me 4 months, but now it's over.
I learned to hate and love some of the characters. Ana was one of my least favorite. She is such a miserable person and she managed to destroy all of the people that loved her. Levin was my favorite, he struggled the most through out the story, but learned to over come his problems. Very interesting story, a must read for book lovers.