A little unsure!

I have had my ups and downs, but lately I feel that I been more down. I have been struggling with myself. I want to share what's going on, but at the same time I feel I will be a burden to those I share my feelings with. Granted I also feel that, they will be disappointed with me and how my feelings are going to reflect with who they think I am. I know that's insane, and that I shouldn't care. I also know that there is a better outcome and all I have to do is look for it. But at this time I really don't want to look, all I really want is some peace of mind. Not this constant need to pretend that all is alright, that live is all good. That there is nothing in this world that I should be worried about. I guess is that I would love to just have things be and have all the answers.
In Christian views, I am told to pray and ask God. Truth be told I am tired of that. I feel I have spent most of my life praying and asking. Just not sure I have gotten an answer to most of my prayers. Yes, some of them seem to have been answered, but the minute I think things are going to be ok... Everything seems to fall apart. I feel I take two step forward and than six backward.
Or I am told that God has a plan for me, that I need to keep my ears and eyes open. That there is an answer to everything he does. What I want to know is what is his purpose for me? I am not complaining about my life, because I know there are other people in this world that have worse than me. All I ever wanted was a break in my life, that I don't have to keep fighting for everything and everyone. I just wanted to be able to reach my goals without having to fight for everything I want.
Of course I don't want things to be handed to me in a silver platter. I also understand that things I want in life, I need to work for it. All I am saying is that I would like for things not to be so hard. That I could have just some of the things not be so hard to achieve.
I do love everything in my life, all I really want is to be able to enjoy it, without the fear that something is going to go wrong. I guess all I have to do now... is hope that tomorrow will be a better day.